The Benchwarmers Quotes
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Clark: I'm not picking, I'm scratching.
Gus: Scratching what? Your brain?
Clark: Yeah, 'cause it's huge.
[where someone has recently farted]
Oh! I love beef stew.
-Clark
Richie: He just did that steroid free!
Clark: What's steroids?
Richie: Something that makes your 'pee-pee' smaller.
Clark: Ohh... there must be steroids in macaroni!
Gus: I think this is a sign that you should get a car.
Clark: My mom said I should hold off on getting my license for another year.
[extends arms forward and then retracts]
Clark: She wants to make sure my reflexes are fully developed.
Howie: I used to think the sun was evil but now I know it's not.
Wayne: How's the moon treating you.
Howie: Not a fan.
Is bad ass one or two words?
-Clark
Clark: Shut up, Number 7!
Number 7 Robot: You shut up!
Clark: I'll kill you!
Brad: You guys think you're athletes now?
Richie: Haha that's funny I didn't know ath-e-letes had three syllables... thats ama-za-zaing.
Are you guys ready to scr-mi-mimage?
-Richie
Kyle: I'm gonna call the cops!
Clark: We are cops!... We're navy seals!
Kyle: Navy seals aren't cops!
Troy: Aren't you our paperboy?
Clark: ...I'm undercover
My wife is the only one who gets to twist these man titties.
-Gus
Kyle: Time to meet your makers!
Clark: Makers of what? POOP?
Richie told me about the serial killers thats loose in in our neighborhood
killing anyone named Howie! THAT'S MY NAME! That's my name!
Kyle: Leave our field or you will suffer the consequences!
Richie: What is this, "children of the corn"?
Richie: [after hitting the ball] I ticked it, it hit the bat!
Charlie Catcher: You're ssstill out.
Richie: You're ssstill fat!
Gus: Nice meeting you, Fairy Jerry.
Jerry: What was that?
Gus: Well, you gave Clark and Richie nicknames. I thought I'd give you one: Fairy Jerry.
Jerry: Oh, really?
Gus: [stands up from chair] Really.
Jerry: Okay, Gus- Gus... Gus Bus! That's you, Gus Bus!
Gus: Oh, that was a brutal comeback. Come on guys, let's go. I don't think I can ever get over that one. Whew!
Richie: Yeah, I bet you're a real good catcher... of donuts in your mouth.
Richie: I guess I'm no longer a virgin... to home runs, BYOTCH!
Gus: Move over honey, I gotta take a leak. Liz: Oh my God! You’re not kidding!